The Great Thai Birth Escape plan is finally happening. On Wednesday I had another checkup and was handed the much lusted-after ‘fit to fly’ paper. Flights, transfers and connections are booked. It doesn’t sound like a particularly fun journey but I’m happy regardless.
There were a few times during the week when I thought it wasn’t going to happen. I spend Monday night lying awake trying to decide is the pains in my stomach were gas, braxton hicks or actual contractions. Still not sure, but I’m leaning towards gas.
Wednesday saw me slip going down the stairs at work and bump, inelegantly down the last few on my ass. Squirt dealt with this rough and tumble by bouncing and hiccuping his way through the next hour, which was a relief. He was fine. My ass was not. WW and Dr Porn both told me I need to be less clumsy. Seriously? It’s not like I chose to chuck myself down the stairs or smash a bottle of gaviscon or drop the Monster on her head.
Then during my appointment I was hooked up to the monitoring machine for the first time. They placed two sensors on my belly and gave me a button to click every time Squirt moved. The nurses were shocked when I recorded Squirts near constant movements for the first 20 mins. I think one didn’t believe me and looked surprised when she put her hand on my belly and felt the dance party for herself. I guess he wore himself out, though as then there was nothing for the next ten minutes. The nurses’ really crap poker faces had WW and I worried for a while but Dr Porn assured us everything was normal, no contractions and my cervix was still locked up tight.
So I am dragging my fat, swollen, aching ass through my last day at work, WW is packing and the Monster will be staying at her doggy hotel this evening and for the next two months. Tomorrow we fly at the very reasonable hour of 11am, but you better believe I’ll be getting there three hours early with my fingers, eyes and toes crossed for that magical upgrade. C’mon BA, be my fairy godmother!