So, I’m still plodding along, here in Thailand. Yes, the ongoing political unrest has resulted in a military coup. We are safe and well, in case you’re concerned. To be honest it has had very little effect on our lives except for the fact that a very tired pregnant lady got a bonus day off school on Friday (whoop whoop). From what I gather the biggest hardships being experienced here are a lack of bad Thai soap operas since the military cut all TV and radio and people being unable to satisfy their midnight munchies, as 7-11 is closing at 10pm in compliance with the 10pm-5am curfew. I was in bed, asleep last night at 8pm and would rather put pins in my eyes attempt to watch the soap operas, so I remain unperturbed.
Anyone who knows me is aware that I am normally ridiculously uninvolved in political goings on, especially when I am in countries where my opinions don’t matter one jot. However, even I have been sucked in by the complex situation going on here. It’s really interesting to be receiving international news whilst experiencing the full story at the same time. When you are reading on the BBC about a tiny, middle class minority rising up and demanding an end to democracy it sounds a little terrifying. Furthermore when you hear that the military has come barging in and removed a democratically elected government and chucked the constitution out of the window. The situation is a lot more complicated than that.12 million people live in Bangkok. 300 people were protesting the coup yesterday. This silly little blog about farting and vaginas isn’t really the place to get into it but I will say that I feel a lot more safe with the army on the streets than when the police were trying to stop the violence.
Plus you get hilarious photos like this:
Land of smiles…and selfies.
Anyway, lets return to scheduled programming.
The title of this post is in reference to a conversation that was relayed back to me earlier in the week. I have found my patience to be wearing a little thinner than usual lately, as witnessed by a colleague who saw me teeter dangerously close to the edge during a difficult lesson with her difficult class. I came as close to swearing as I ever have in five years of teaching and had to stop, mid-sentence, close my eyes and count to 20 before I trusted myself to open my mouth again. After this my colleague had a little chat with her kids:
‘Boys and girls, you have to be good with Miss Emz because her baby is almost ready to come out.’
Student (whose own parents have nicknamed ‘water buffalo’, a pretty offensive name to call a Thai, meaning stupid) ‘What?’
Collegue: ‘Miss Emz is pregnant. Didn’t you know? Didn’t you see her belly?’
Student: ‘Oh my god! Has someone told her? Does she know??!!’
Apart from a very short fuse I haven’t been feeling too bad. Squirt is as active as ever, happily kicking, punching and rolling away…until someone comes at him with an ultrasound wand. Then he hides.
We had our 31st week check-up a few days ago. Dr Porn was happy to report that everything is still normal and on track. Squirt’s weight has slowed slightly and he is now a more average weight, rather than pushing the high end of average, which is a relief for the orifice from which he is intending to exit but a slight, niggly concern for the part of me that has watched too many documentaries and knows that a drop off in weight gain could mean problems. Dr Porn was extremely unconcerned so I am trying to be too.
Squirt has been lying head down, like a good little boy for the last few scans and using the opportunity to invade my rib space with his ‘long, beautiful legs’. After a quick check of heart, brain, fingers, toes, cord and a few long bones we moved onto the 4D, ‘let’s get the money shot’ of his face.
Last time we did this you might remember Squirt was showing us his gymnastic skills by sleeping with his feet above his head and doing his damnest to hide his face. I guess h’e’s too cramped for that so instead he used his arms and hands. We had 20 mins of prodding, jiggling and a carton of OJ to get him to rub his nose and then cover his face again. Then an excited nurse rushed in to tell the doc another patient was delivering down the hall. We were dismissed for 20 mins to walk around and try and wake up Squirt. Sure enough, the minute I stood up he started swirling around and the minute I lay back down he went back into his coma. More jiggling, prodding and a piece of cake and we got the shots below. I was so over it by then I didn’t really mind. I’d rather a 30 mins- ‘yup, he’s healthy’ scan than a 2 hour ‘Wakey, wakey. Show us your face,’ scan.
Dr Porn told me I’d hit my 9 month pregnancy weight gain already so I’m back to trying to be very good. I was doing really well until we got a birthday cake order and I had to try a few cut-offs of WW’s scrumptious chocolate cake. Mmmmm. But I did have uber healthy, cream-free, home-made vegetable soups for dinner every night this week. I also have mostly managed to avoid salty, fried crap and pizza. I must say it has really helped with the heartburn. But I miss cake. And it hasn’t helped with the stinky farting, as WW and the The Monster will attest to.
I still think I’m getting off lightly with this whole pregnancy malarkey. Other than some heartburn, grumpiness, slight back ache (which doesn’t hold a candle to the pain I’m usually experiencing a few times a month) and some uncomfortable kicks, things have been good. I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop. I think I might miss the little bugger when he’s not using my bladder as a pillow any more. And not being able to blame my big belly and cake consumption on pregnancy!
That’s all for now, folks!
PS. Ultrasound pics after the jump.