‘Nice legs…and a nice ass too!’

Hello all,

I’m writing to you from post-ultrasound high….so maybe this post will be less whingey and sarcastic than normal. Then again, maybe not.

So we tried another hospital and a new doctor and I am happy to report it was pretty fantastic. We waited less than half an hour, almost unheard of in a Thai hospital. We had a quick chat with young Dr P (part of his name is porn…). He asked no personal/nosy questions which was a refreshing change after the last doctor. At one point he asked if my husband was tall, accepted when I told him I didn’t have one and eyed WW asking if I used donor sperm. This affirmation was accepted without missing a beat. When I commented on how accepting he was to WW later, she replied ‘Well I don’t think he was totally straight.’ Which probably explains it.

I had to do a urine test and had just peed seconds before so I necked a bottle of water. I gave them a rather copious amount of urine and needed to pee again just in time for the ultrasound starting. I tried to tough it out but was send to the bathroom by Dr P as the baby’s head was being squished under my heavy bladder and he couldn’t get his measurements.

The ultrasound was long and super detailed with Dr P making cute jokes and taking time to translate everything into English for me and Thai for WW. The first image confirmed we are having a boy. Dr P drew our attention nicely by framing his little penis with a few arrows. The baby’s penis, that is, not his own.

Our little boy was feeling quite sleepy throughout apparently so we were both subjected to lots of prodding, poking and jiggling trying to get him to wiggle around a bit and show off some other features.

He went from top to tail showing us the joins in the skull, the heart chambers and lungs, the umbilical cord site, the liver, the kidneys, lots of bones and the facial structures and a bunch of other stuff I can’t remember. He told us you can’t see everything yet because some things are still developing but so far everything is looking good. Especially his ‘beautiful legs’ and ‘beautiful butt’, apparently. Phew.

After about 45 mins of this he showed us the scary 4D monster shots where you can almost see the details of the baby’s face…but you pray he’s going to be a little less frightening when he emerges. Pretty cool bit of kit.

Thankfully WW kicked in with questions from time to time as I had reverted to my domestic cow blissed out trance and was mostly accepting everything easily while gazing with sickening adoration at the screen.

The dates the machines were showing were only three days ahead of my actual dates. WW very supportively asked ‘If the baby is only 360g how come the mother gain so much weight?’ and Dr W’s eyebrows did hit his hairline when I told him I had gained 8 kilos. He said I have to be careful about gestational diabetes, well acutally he said ‘diabetus’ which made me think of rednecks in ‘Murica. He advised that I not lose any weight but control the gain by cutting back on carbs, crap and sugar- including fruit. Not being allowed to eat fruit is an extreme sad face for me, maybe even more so than skipping the cake.

So we’re thrilled to have finally found a hospital and doctor I am happy with, and to be having a baby boy who is developing well. It almost makes me forget the gas that’s been leaking noxiously out of my bottom all day and the fire that has been inching up my esophagus for most of the afternoon. Hooray for happy days!!!

But anyway I must leave you all as I have decided to embrace becoming old and take up knitting. Of course I don’t have the patience, skill or technique for actual knitting so I’m cheating a bit with one of those awesome looms. I’d highly recommend them. Cheap practical and impossible to stab anyone with should you feel a little frustrated. I’m making a blanket for the baby’s room- check me!

Ultrasound pics after the jump.


PS. A second ago WW just felt Squirt kick for the first time 🙂


No crude jokes about having a penis inside me. Yes I’m talking to you Mr S.


Hamster face.


‘Shut up mummies and stop prodding me.’

For all the die hards here’s the ultrsound video…pretty dull if you’re not me I think.


9 thoughts on “‘Nice legs…and a nice ass too!’

  1. Whee! Congratulations on your great penile discovery! And that everything is developing beautifully!

    I had a dream last night that we had an ultrasound in which we discovered our baby had a GIANT penis. Like half of the baby was all penis. Everyone thinks we’re having a girl, though. I guess we’ll find out in 3,5 months!

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