Woman at the edge of the world (Scotland) gives birth to part baby, part gorrilla creature.

Hello again, remember me, the sarcastic whiner?

So I am now 19 weeks along, with one week to go before my next ultrasound. What’s new? What’s been happening in the world of Emz, WW, the Monster and  Squirt?…

The hairness continues. Where before I had to pluck that sole, old lady chin hair once a month, now it’s . every second day. That mofo’s got spirit.  I’m wondering if there was a mix up at the sperm bank and I am actually carrying a gorrillaman. Nope? Perhaps my new furriness can be attributed to regular old hormones then.

Possible solution for the issue that I can’t fit into my bikini top anymore?

Hunger, or should I say queasiness persists and can strike at anytime. Apparently 2.30am was as good a time as any for breakfast the other day. Just when my eyes are about to close (at 8.30pm MAX) is now cereal o’clock. 5 am is breakfast time. And also 6.30. And also 9. And then elevenses and then lunch and so on.  I kid myself that I am eating healthily, my brain frantically trying to find a way to excuse the dessert/rubbish I have once a day. I have been avoiding scales since the last scan but curiosity got the better of me yesterday. I was horrified to see I have gained 6 1/2 kilos, just over a stone . I hoped the scale was out but the next 3 confirmed it.

A little aside here about cultural differences… In Thailand people are not as precious about their weight as we are. I frequently hear people commenting about each other’s weight.  When we went to the North WW’s entire family’s first comment to her was that she’d gotten fatter.  Can you imagine if you went to a restaurant in the UK and the waitress commented how fat you’d gotten? That’s the norm here. It’s not something I’ve gotten used to. Conversations with WW used to go like this:

Me: ‘I’m going to be as big as a whale. I’m so fat now!’

WW: ‘Mmmhmm.’ (nodding).

I had to teach her the reflex response that should be an integral part of every partner of a pregnant person’s vocabulary: ‘You’re not fat. You’re pregnant.’ The crazy thing is that even though I basically trained her to say it, it still makes me feel better.

So with this mantra I’m trying to get over it and just enjoy the experience. Trying.

A few nice things are happening. A few times I have been lying still and quiet at night I have felt some wriggly, popping, fluttering movement just below my belly button. It’s still quite faint and gas-like, I’m excited for the first proper kick…but probably less so the 100th.

Also apart for the occasional stiffness my back has been behaving itself and I haven’t done my old lady hobble for months. Hooray.

My new passport finally arrived with my new name, which is exciting. I am starting to assemble the ‘Let WW into the UK’ pack but have to wait another 2 weeks until we can actually apply.

I’m flirting with Hypnobirthing. It’s a bit of a battle between my hippy side and my… well, brain. I’m sure most of the people I know would have a few snide comments tucked up their sleeve, and I probably could think of a few of my own. I figure if anything can help me during the birth it’s got to be worth a try. Plus a lot of the things in the book actually seem to make a lot of sense, surprisingly. Plus I enjoy the hypno-track before bed. Although I am only conscious for maybe the first 7 minutes. I hope that means it’s doing its job. If nothing else I’ll give the midwives a giggle, I’m sure. I tried to rope WW into the visualization aspects but I guess her hippy side got lost somewhere on the way.

I’m tired. I need a holiday but have another month to go, no half term for us.  I am ridiculous, I finish at 12 every day and get weekends off but at the moment it doesn’t feel like enough. I am sooo glad my last month or so is during the holidays. I don’t know how the poor ladies out there can work right up until they pop. Although a month in deepest, darkest Scotland might see me singing a different tune.

Apologies, I fear this was not the most exciting post. That’s why I’m not boring you as often as before. Plus a large part of my family are now subscribers . It’s a tad more difficult to write humorous things about vaginas and pubic hair when you’re aware your granny might be reading…




13 thoughts on “Woman at the edge of the world (Scotland) gives birth to part baby, part gorrilla creature.

  1. It sounds like things are going well. Just the other day I had been wondering whatever became of you guys. I hope things go smoothly as you progress towards meeting your munchkin. 🙂

    • Thanks, I have fallen off the radar a little but we’re plodding along nicely. I hope things are moving in the right direction for you guys too

          • Well, February is almost over… so time is passing. I feel like I have a lot of time (I couldn’t stopped taking prenatals for about a month but didn’t think of it until recently, I’m a creature of habit) and not enough time (it’d be nice to have XYZ dealt with before we get a kid, but the list is too long to be feasible).

  2. Finally got to Reading your blog post. How did the lady get the WW nickname? Wonderful wifey? Haha. Next time I’m coming home late from pubs, maybe I’ll stop by your place for some communal 4am breakfast? ; ) have a nice afternoon

    • loads ofnthe hetro blogs use dh (dear husband) so I’m being a little tongue in cheek. Plus she is a wonderful wife…even when I’m bearing the brunt of her PMSing 😀

  3. I love your updates, not boring at all! Plus it’s nice to read someone who is as far along as I am. I was feeling pretty huge too until I looked up “19 weeks pregnant” on Pintrest and saw all shapes and sizes. Made me realize my bump is right where it needs to be. The hunger is really something some days isn’t it? I’m ready for second breakfast already!

  4. I tend to have a few breakfasts. After lunch though, I seem to be okay until dinner. But if I don’t eat consistently all morning, I am all out of whack. And everyone knows it.

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