Ode to Maternity Wear

Firstly I must commend pincushiontobaby for being a total genius! You might remember one (of my many) worries was locating clothes to cover my ever expanding body without leaving us further in the red. You might also remember that I was facing additional problems being that I live among a nation of midgets who do not generally make clothes for enormous giants like me. Well this clever lady had the solution. More on that later.

A little back-story first. People who know me will attest that I am not an avid shopper. Not only because I have no real interest in fashion but also because I find shopping an upsetting and frustrating experience. From being a tween and being unable to locate trousers that weren’t ‘half-mast’ (above my ankle), to being an overweight uni student struggling to accept my current size to now, just frantically searching for something that covers my legs/belly/arms fully and doesn’t look like a decorators sheet, I have never enjoyed shopping. Wow, that was a ridiculously long sentence. Apologies.

Now watching my belly start to pop I have been dreading back aching, fruitless searching through Ban.gkok’s million malls to attempt to find clothes acceptable for work. I expected this process to take weeks and involve the usual sulking, temper tantrums and hysteria which usually punctuate my shopping expeditions.

Thankfully this was not to be. Clever pincushiontobaby suggested I check out H&M’s maternity section and I hit the freaking mother-lode! Why haven’t I checked out these clothes before? The tops are long and reasonably flattering. The jeans are 34 inches long, just like my legs! Plus they have this awesome stretchy band which is very comfortable and shields the world from my ass crack when I bend over. I had my most successful shopping trip ever, kitting myself out for an entire work pregnancy, if I can lay off the cheese. Mmm cheese. No stop it!

So, tall, not that slim pregnant ladies rejoice, there is a solution. Four tops and two pairs of jeans/trousers for under 90 GBP. I am totally going to keep using the maternity jeans after the pregnancy btw. Who knew skinny fit could actually be comfortable. Oh but if you don’t like skinny fit you’re shit out of luck because that’s pretty much the only option other than jimjams. It wont be fun in the hot season but I’ll just be a creature of air con. Looking good in my skinny fit jeans. Or looking weirdly top heavy with an enormous belly and boobs and little stick legs sticking out underneath. Or my ass will explode in the next couple of months and my lovely jeans will be for post-natal use.

Ehem, anyhoo…

Today I am 11 weeks and 1 day pregnant. I was a little hasty with my last post and was rewarded for bragging about my lack of nausea with, you guessed it, lots of nausea. I finally figured out that as long as I am continuously pushing processed, melted, bland cheese into the hole on my face I feel better. I took me a while to realize the common denominator for my lasagna, pizza, cheeseburger cravings was actually just the cheese, but I got there in the end.

I read about cravings and healthy eating before I got pregnant and I thought it would be easy. After all I crave chocolate, bread, cheese and pizza all the time but I don’t eat them during every meal. I’ll just say no to my craving, thought I. Little did I know that a first trimester craving was my body demanding something and basically having a dirty protest when it didn’t get what it wanted post haste. I hope this gets easier as time goes on. I’m concerned I am going to give birth to one of those enormous babies who quickly becomes an internet meme and talk shows use as an example of bad parenting.

Despite the fact my body wishes to survive only on American cheese (shudder, I even tried to trick it with proper cheddar and it revolted…and was revolted) I have been able to sneak more and more things under the wire in the last few days. In fact yesterday I went the whole day cheese free. OK I had a cream cheese bagel for breakfast and (pasteurized) feta in my salad for dinner but those are actual, non-plastic, has-encountered-milk-at-some-point cheeses so it doesn’t count :-).  Today I had food with actual flavour, a yummy Thai curry noodle dish called Khao Soi. I relived it through burps for about 3 hours after but it was totally worth it.

In other news my boobs are now partially obstructing my view but they aren’t threatening to implode at the slightest touch, so that’s progress. I’m struggling to find a comfortable sleeping position so I’m considering one of those mammoth pregnancy pillows I’ve seen other bloggers raving about. Um… oh and after a quiet new year the protesters in the city are gearing up again just in time for school starting back which is  crappy and stressful. I need to get a new passport with my new name but I don’t want to be here, unable to leave right now. Thankfully, all being well, next Saturday we should be graduating from the city clinic to a regular pregnant lady facility closer to home and further from all the trouble. I am anticipating more blog posts regarding this move. I’m not sure if we can be ‘out’ with the doctor. I hate the idea of lying again and I want to get clear ‘yes’ answers regarding WW’s presence at the birth, but I’m worried about hospitals refusing to treat us again. Hmm.

Righto I’m off to eat more cheese…only joking. Not. No, really. This is really what I want…

Take care everyone.



8 thoughts on “Ode to Maternity Wear

  1. I am 5,9″ and nearly 13 weeks pregnant! I too was freaking out when everyone have me their maternity wear cast offs with swinging ankles. New look online has been my saviour, I’m not sure if delivery is possible overseas tho. I have 34″ for flat shoes and 36″ for small heels. I bought 9 items in the new look sale for £70!!!! Skinny maternity jeans rule.

    I’m gonna check out H&M now!

    It must be even harder buying clothes in Thailand, when I was there the only shoes in size 7/8 were transsexual ones 😦 also even finding a bra over a B cup proved tricky.

    Good luck with it all fellow giant x

    • Lol, yes totally. I asked someone where I could buy shoes and they sent me to a ladyboy store full of knee high pvc boots. Or mens shoes, I just live in havianas. Forget it with the boobs. The sales assistants see me coming and shout “no have! No have!” 🙂

  2. I cannot but shoes here non-pregnant. With the swelling (which you can catch on the ‘in pictures’ page on my blog), I could not ram them into size 42 imported Fitflops, which I bought anyway, my old footwear having been burst or crushed by my 100 kilo baby weight. They got given to someone who is swollen up due to chemo afterwards so they continue their fat-foot relieving duties (replete with sequins).

    • Im glad they continue to do good in the world. I pre-emptively bought some havianas with an ankle strap. The work footwear rule is they must have a heel strap so now I’m free to swell and sweat away 🙂

  3. I did not know H&M had maternity clothes. Thanks for the tip. I think I’m still a few weeks away from it though, but who knows when it’ll pop. We’re so close to the 2nd trimester, go us!

    • yay. Don’t wait for the jeans, they’re wonderfullt comfy even if you’re not strictly ready. I’d have worn them during the ttc stage had I known 🙂

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