Effing Insurance

‘So this plan will insure your baby from the day it is born. You have to pay 600 GBP every year for 10 years. It wont cover if the baby is not born healthy though.’

‘So if it’s premature and needs care it wont be covered?’




‘This other plan cost 400 GBP year and covers baby 30 days after it’s born.’

‘But doesn’t the school give me that one for free for one family member? Remember you refused to recognize my wife as my family and cover her, but I can get it for the baby right?’

‘Ah, ok. So can have. School pay.’

‘Okaaaay. But what about maternity insurance?’

‘Oh, Thailand no have.’

‘But I thought you said people at our other school had it?’

‘Ah, no. Not insurance. It’s fund. School pay directly.’

‘But my school doesn’t?’




‘I have here maternity package. 900 GBP for vaginal birth, 1, 500 GBP for Cesarean section.’

‘And what if I give birth prematurely?’

‘Then cannot.’

‘And if I have any complications?’


‘And if the baby has problems?’

‘Not include.’



‘But is OK, na. You healthy. You baby gonna be healthy.’

‘Oh, shit. Why didn’t you just say so? Thanks for all your help. All my worries have been lifted and I will no longer be haunted by nightmares of astronomical medical frees and crushing debt. You’ve been great, punctual and not at all unclear at any point during all this’ …. I wanted to say. But of course I’m British so I didn’t. Instead I said.

‘Ok, great. Thanks for the information. Bye.’



4 thoughts on “Effing Insurance

    • exactamundo. Its alright though cos the insurance lady who knows nothing about me and has no medical qualifications says everything will be fine. Almost makes me miss the nhs.

  1. Geez, it almost makes me wonder if you wouldn’t be better off going to the UK to give birth (since aren’t you covered there?). Schedule a C/S or induction or something.

    • I thought about it but I’m will be working until after the airlines would let me fly. Also most of my worries concern being early and I guess if that was they case I wouldn’t be able to get back in time anyway.

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