Damn you progesterone and your wiked ways!

OK, this post is going to sound like a movie script but I swear down this is what happened.

Last night I got up to pee. I checked my phone, hoping it was a decent time in the AM. Nope. It was 11.30pm, 3 hours after I fell asleep. My fingers twitched over the pregnancy test on the sink but my bladder was fit to bust and there was a danger I’d pee on the floor before I got the test out of all of its packaging.

Never mind, thought I, I’ll do it next time. So I emptied my bladder and went back to sleep, promising myself the next time I woke up I would take the test.

Later I woke again and peed on the stick. The ‘yup, I’m working’ line came quickly followed by a distinct second line. Yes! I ran back to the bedroom, shook a very sleepy WW awake and screeched ‘I’m pregnant!’. And we celebrated.

Then I woke up.

No, I’m not shitting you. I had one of those crazy, very realistic progesterone dreams and woke up about an hour after the last time I peed. After feeling completely gutted for a few seconds I wondered if maybe it was a sign. So off I went to the bathroom again.

I peed. The first line appeared. I waited. Nothing. I waited some more. Nothing. So I held that stick much closer to my face than I would normally hold anything with pee on it and I squinted. Was that a line? Or was it just a shadow showing where the line would appear if it was positive? Nope, just a shadow and tiredness and hope.

I was a bit disappointed but refrained from plummeting into the deep vat of sadness as it was early. And those tests are not very reliable, And my wee is really diluted. And I just peed a little while before.

WW woke to go to the bathroom and I told her it was negative. We had a cuddle but didn’t feel too bad and went back to sleep.

The next morning I walked into the bathroom to see WW hastily replacing the test on the sink.

‘I convinced myself I could see a line last night but I don’t think its real.’ I admitted.

‘Oh, I saw it too.’ She replied.

‘What?’ I grabbed it and looked. Yes, there’s a little ghost there.

‘Maybe that’s what the test looks like before you pee. I didn’t really look properly.’ Hmm…

Off I went to work.

This afternoon I went to buy another of the same brand. No matter how hard we squint there is no line on the unused test. Nothing. So I’m now just trying to hang on until a respectable hour tonight to see if I can get that line a little less ghostly. Aghhh, don’t know whether to laugh or cry.

See our squinter for yourself below the break.*

In other news my vag is less like a furious, fiery phoenix  and more like a disgruntled gnome. I haven’t had to get down and dirty with pro biotic yoghurt for a few days, whoop whoop.

Also WW has taken to the roads. At the grand age of 33 she is finally taking driving lessons. I was stupefied to hear that she will undergo only 10 hours of instruction (unless she requests more) before she takes her test and all of those hours (unless she pays for a whole day instruction session) will take place on an obstacle course. Whats more, her actual test to qualify will also take place in the obstacle course. So WW, and every other Thai driver might acquire a driving license having not ever actually driven a car on a real road. Wow. But I am proud of her that she is learning manual rather than taking the easy road and only learning how to drive an automatic. I’m not sure why it’s such a big deal to me, but it is.

Anyways, don’t uncross those fingers yet. I’ll let you know how it went tomorrow.

TTFN and best of luck everyone.

*I know for some of you it has been a long, crap filled journey thus far and you don’t want to be bombarded with images of other peoples pee sticks, ultra sounds, bumps etc and so I will endeavor to post everything photo based that is potentially upsetting below a break so you have a choice whether you want to see it (or squint at it, as the case may be).


This is the world’s biggest tease. I bet all of you readers are wondering ‘What line?’ The crappy iphone camera with no focus isn’t helping I guess.


13 thoughts on “Damn you progesterone and your wiked ways!

  1. That’s not a squinter! That’s totally a line! Ahhhhh! Am crossing everything it gets darker xx
    Also, the whole driving test thing explains A LOT about Thailand roads and drivers!

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