I’m back in with the emotions after riding the happy train for 5 days. I don’t think weekends where I’m not supposed to do much are good for me. I’m sure it wasn’t helped by me watching a documentary called ‘Dear Zachary’ which was amazing but not a good choice for those in a fragile emotional state.
Yesterday and today I have been hit with waves of nausea, headaches, hot spells and dizziness. These were triggered after spending 5 minutes outside in the humidity. It’s always hot here but it’s really not too bad by our usual standards. I was just supervising the Monster’s bathroon breaks, not running a marathon in the sun, for goodness sake.
I’ve also lost more weight which totals 4 kg lost since my period this month. I’ve eaten loads but not my usual junk. Maybe my body is reacting to a loss of beer and pizza. Maybe it’s stress. Either way I doubt it’s helping my cause. I think it’s the only time in my life I haven’t been thrilled by weight loss.
I’ve decided I’m going to take a home pregnancy test on Thursday morning, which will be 11 days after my 3 day transfer. I want the first wave of dissappointment to happen at home in private.
The last time I peed on a stick was about 6 years ago. I came home from Uni and my mum asked if I might be pregnant because I’d gained a ton of weight. Back then I will still in denial mode and dating guys. Plus I had gained about 20kg in a year so I hoped I was. Nope. Just fat.
Some time after that I dumped my waste of space, alcoholic, useless boyfriend. quit the job that I hated, packed all my worldly belongings into my clapped-out Clio and drove north for 8 hours to my parents.
In the next 5 months I lost the 20 kg. I started by going to the gym but the trainer told me dieting was the only way I would really see a difference. I made up my own diet that made sense to me. I ate as much fruit, vegetables and lean meat and egg whites as I wanted so I never felt hungry. I avoided almost everything else. If I was desperate for a treat I would have one or two squares of dark chocolate or a few breadsticks and some light light cream cheese. I didn’t drink often but when I did I only had spirits and diet mixers.
Disclaimer: I am not recommending this for anyone, I’m just stating what I did.
Since then I have kept the weight off although I fluctuate a few kilos up and down with stress and happiness. I mostly eat what I want although I am much more careful and aware of my consumption of the shitty carbs. If I notice the scales creeping too high I cool it with WW’s baking for a bit.
Anyways, I digress. After losing the weight I went and got accepted to a competitive teacher training course and I got the travel bug working abroad in the summer. I finished the grueling and very stressful year of training, sailed through the 1 year probation and turned my back on Scotland, taking my newly achieved fully qualified status abroad.
Hmm, why did I tell you all of that? I am turning into Billy Connelly. Sometimes when I’m blogging it’s like I’m three sheets to the wind but I haven’t touched a drop since my wee holiday, cross my heart.
Anyway, how are you all doing out there? I hope you haven’t been put off by my prattling on about nothing. I know several of you have had some big steps recently and I wish you all the best of luck. Hopefully I’ll be simultaneously congratulating you and being green with envy soon!