An unwelcome distraction from all the waiting.

This image represents one of my body parts right now and I’m not talking about my eye. ‘Nuf said, I think.

 If you are a blogger writing about trying to conceive and you have no self respect boundaries, like me, there are probably times in which you’d like to drop in a little mention about your vagin.a. I normally use polite, friendly terms like lady bits or vajayjay but I’m thinking about branching out a little.

To expand our vocabularies why don’t we try some other, less medical, cutesy and more amusing terms. Here are some corkers for you to consider:

  • bearded clam
  • cooter (I think this is the cutest one I’ve heard)
  • flesh tuxedo
  • fun tunnel
  • goo pot
  • punani
  • hairy axe wound (I’ve said it before but I feel it deserves another mention)
  • smelly jelly hole
  • vertical grimace
  • hidey hole
  • knob gobbler (not very lesbian friendly but funny)
  • whisker biscuit
  • meat muffin
  • vertical bacon sandwich
  • man in the boat
  • cupid’s cupboard
  • bubble gum by the bum
  • passion purse
  • red room of pain
  • quivering mound of love pudding
  • growler

I have a vagin.a and I don’t find any of these offensive. Off color, perhaps. Gross, maybe. Hilarious, hells yes!

Non of these are mine. I pinched them all from a variety of different places. You can imagine what my search engine history is like. Anyway, feel free to steal one, if any take your fancy. Add some of your own in the comments section. Go ahead. We’re not judgmental here.

I’m wondering if this post was a result of a slight confusion regarding quantity of hormone pills this afternoon or the unquenchable, fiery flames in my passion purse. Whatever the reason it’s probably best I sign off now.

Best of luck with your smelly jelly holes my lovelies! I hope they are happier than mine right now!

Emz

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11 thoughts on “An unwelcome distraction from all the waiting.

  1. I clicked on your page and instantly fell in love. Seriously. The first post I see is names for vaginas. It reminds me of when my friends and I made lists, one list was names for a vagina which was nearly 150 names by the time we were done with it and list for the penis which topped at 258 I think. I wish I knew what I did with that list because I would certainly type that whole thing up. Thanks for making my day!!!

  2. And a very welcome break from all the craziness! Love this post! Personally I don’t really like (to use) euphemisms for perfectly normal stuff like sex and vaginas, but I do appreciate their humor value 🙂

    Keep positive, eh?

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