More bodily function updates….this is what I have been reduced to.

Thanks to everyone for the recommendations for TV series and books. I’m in the process of procuring them now.

I’m actually feeling pretty stable today. I haven’t cried yet- which is a nice change. I hopped on the scales this morning and revealed I had lost a kilo whilst lying in bed for the last 3 days, which was unexpected. I have eaten very healthy meals (I know, you’re impressed, right?) although I have had a few chocolatey, unhealthy snacks (OK, less impressed, I know). I’m still wearing my socks and scoffing my pineapple. I gave into Google yesterday and found a lovely article stating how the doctors’ grading of embryos is still very unreliable and can’t always predict the true outcome so a little of that sneaky hope crept back in.

TMI alert: I finally pooped for the first time in 3 days so that’s cheered me up no end.

Another TMI alert: Unfortunately though it seems my vajayjay is having an angry confrontation with the Bullets of Sadness and is waging war with a suspected yeast infection. I don’t want to contact my doctor because I fear they might want to switch the Bullets out for something oral (or, heaven forbid, suggest I insert the Bullets into another orifice altogether) and I can’t really afford more medicine right now. I don’t want to hit up the pharmacy in case their suggestions are harmful to my already poorly embryos. A few websites said you can treat it naturally with pro-biotic yogurt. Not quite sure about the advised delivery system but I’m sure I’ll figure it out. I bet that’s left a nice mental image with all of you.  Aren’t you glad you read or follow my blog?

WW is currently covering for me with an after school club we usually provide together. There are only 7 kids but two in particular can be a bit of a handful. Normally she stands back and lets me give the dirty looks, threats and reprimands so I hope she is managing OK. I have an image of a mutiny, WW bound in the middle of the room while the little buggers skip around her with burning torches. But that wont happen. Probably not, anyway.

So in the meantime the Monster and I are still curled up in bed. It has been 67 hours and 14 minutes since I left the bedroom. Not that I’m counting. But, hurrah I will go back to school tomorrow and have things to do other than wonder if your body consumes non-implanted embryos or just flushes them out with your period. For instance I have to deal with the repercussions of an email I received from a parent last night at 1.55am.

Dear Mrs Emz,

I just wanted to let you know that I didn’t help my kid study for his test today because I think it’s ridiculous that he has to learn English already*. He can barely speak and read and write his own language. In our home country he wouldn’t start learning until 5th grade**. I think he should be removed from class and shouldn’t be bothered with this silly idea of learning a language at such a young age***.

*He is 2nd grade.

**Lies. Children in his home country start at 2nd or 3rd grade.

***Yes, silly to teach kids language at the age where they are like little sponges and will pick up a language to a conversational level in approximately 6 months with a little encouragement.

Oh, the joys. No really, I’m not being sarcastic (for once). I will take difficult parents with strange ideas about education over lying in this bed for another day. I’m sure this parent will manage to take my mind of what may or may not be growing in my abdomen right now.

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