A wee update and a few ‘teacher speak’ decoders.

We are going to be fighting our way through the rush hour traffic shortly. Time for another round of teasing and hopefully the verdict that my uterus is nice and snuggly and ready for one or two passengers for the next 9 months.

Trying not to think about it too much because the fear/excitement cocktail is already bubbling up from my stomach and filling my chest, making me feel like taking panicky, short breaths. And we’re not even at the transfer stage yet.

Symptom wise I haven’t noticed any effects from the meds I have been on. I am struggling with my second cold in two months though. I hope the Doc says it’s OK to go ahead anyway. Really don’t want to have to wait another month.

This month is already quite chaotic. I have meeting with parents on Saturday (from 8.30am, WTF?!) which is always slightly stressful. No parent wants to hear their little angel can’t sit still or behave themselves. It’s easier in the UK, I can use all sorts of professional phrases and sugar coat the hard to swallow stuff. Working abroad I’m mostly talking to ESL parents and I usually have to be a bit more blunt. Here are a few teacher euphemisms for when you next read a report card:

Teacher wrote ‘ quite high spirited’ but actually meant ‘I frequently have to peel the little bugger off the ceiling. May well have some kind of hyperactivity disorder.’

Teacher wrote ‘is strong willed’ but wanted to say ‘is a stubborn little sh”£t who never does as they’re told.’

Teacher wrote ‘talkative’ but meant ‘never shuts up’.

Teacher wrote ‘lively’ but means ‘uncontrollable’.

Teacher wrote ‘has a good sense of humour’ but actually meant ‘is a cheeky little bast&^d’.

Teacher wrote ‘can be disruptive’ but meant ‘frequently interrupts me when I am talking by howling like a baboon and launching erasers at his peers.’

Teacher wrote ‘uses some inappropriate language’ but meant ‘sounds like a drunk on the late bus in Glasgow on a Saturday night’.

Teacher wrote ‘has enjoyed learning about ________’ but wanted to add ‘however hasn’t retained one iota of information from the whole subject.

Teacher wrote ‘struggles with’ but actually means ‘doesn’t have the foggiest clue about…’.

Teacher wrote ‘needs to work on social skills’ but wanted to write ‘needs to learn that picking her nose and wiping it on her classmates wont make her any friends.’

Bring back any memories from yours or your kids’ report cards?

Sometimes the parent I have been giving these kind of reports to is a teacher themselves and I see a flicker of amusement cross their features, quickly surpassed by a frown as they translate my teacher talk and realise what I’m getting at.

Anyway, the parent-teacher meeting are followed by Project week (where my school goes off curriculum to learn about different things in Tha.iland including elephant farms, snake farms, traditional dancing, story telling etc. Loads of fun for the kids, loads of stress and extra work for the teachers), Loy Kratong (a very nice traditional Thai celebration) and a climbing club trip and competition that I am organising. Fun, tiring and stressful few weeks ahead.

OK, WW has announced it’s time to brave the traffic. Wish me luck!




5 thoughts on “A wee update and a few ‘teacher speak’ decoders.

  1. When entertaining a friend who was in town to shop for electronics he stayed in our living room, as we had a one-bedroom apartment at the time. The morning after his first night he said that our cats are very “active” which I have no doubt is code for “they kept waking me up with their insanity.” But it’s cats, there’s no much that can be done, thankfully they’ve mellowed out a bit with age.

    • Sensible people know to be just as careful when speaking about pets as they are when speaking about kids 🙂 Some pets have ‘only a mother could love ’em’ traits too. Our Monster certainly does!

      • I suppose. I know that I love my kitties more than anyone else does, but that being said, I don’t need to worry about their self-esteem (as they are very thick skinned about criticism). 🙂

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