I still have 10 days to wait until next check up to see how my womb lining is getting on. Tomorrow I have to up the little green pills to 3 a day and I’m continuing to smear the stinky gel on my stomach every day. This morning I took 6 pills: vit c, vit e, follic acid, prognynova, mydocalm and arcoxia.  I feel a bit teary and stressed but I think that might be more related to my period and still being immobile with my back and less to do with all the meds.

WW had to shout at me to go and lie down this morning. I have a habit from my mother that I have to deep clean the house the day before I go on holiday. I started but was struggling and then got really stressed out because I noticed new mold growing in the cupboards where we store our dishes and glasses. Needless to say I am not really fit to start rearranging cupboards but I feel horribly guilty lying down in the living room while poor WW cleans, tidies, packs, washes the dog etc. We really need to get out of this house and find somewhere dry. It’s frustrating though as we’ve put a lot of elbow grease into making this place livable and there isn’t a lot near us within our price range. I’m sure we’ll figure it out, I’m just feeling a little doom and gloom right now.

pic from here

Anyway *deep breath* tomorrow we will wake up at 3am and head to the airport. My toes will be sinking into the white sand by 1pm. Hopefully by then I will be walking, not hobbling but I fear 1 hour of having my knees pressed up against my chest on the crappy airplane followed by a bumpy boat trip over to the island might exacerbate things. After that I’m going to lie on flat deck chairs and read and bob around in the ocean looking at all the pretty little fishes. The weather even seems to have cheered up for us so it should be all good. I’m going to blow the dust off my camera and take some shots of paradise to share with you all. I apologize to anyone living in the UK if the jealousy drives you to expletives. Just remember I am a size 12 who is not confident in her body and has not been able to wear jeans, long sleeved t-shirts, boots, jackets or jumpers in three years. I am jealous of warm, fuzzy socks and hot chocolate.  Of frost and scarves. Of Guy Fawkes and Halloween. Of Christmas songs in shopping malls. Of snow. And skiing!!! God I miss skiing. It’s been years.

pic from here

So yes, I will be lying on paradise island, supping cocktails (probably virgin), paddling in the clear blue water and watching fire dancers after sunset but I would trade it for a little British winter. Or, rather a country which has proper winters, not just colder-than-usual rain. Perhaps Canada?

Oooh, that’s cheered me up a little. I found out yesterday that paradise doesn’t have any ATMs so I’m a little skeptical about the WIFI coverage. You might all have a break from my daily whining but I’ll be back soon with photos and tales unrelated to IVF as I continue to distract myself from ALL THE MIND NUMBING WAITING, When I come back from the beach I will only have one more week of waiting to go and hopefully less that two weeks until the frozen transfer.

There seemed to be a lot of bad news and good news this week, out there in the IVF blogging world. Congratulations to those of you ecstatically clutching positive test results! My thoughts and digital hugs are with those of you with bad and disappointing news. Stay connected and keep sharing. I’m following and here to offer support in any way I can if you need it. Take care all!


6 thoughts on “Holidays!

  1. Think we’re going to be pretty close with our FETs, I’ve got my scan on 31st and probably transfer the week after… keeping everything crossed for both of us!
    I am not jetting off for wonderful relaxation, but instead going to work 😦 but since you will make me v jealous with photos of paradise thought I should mention its a really sunny, crisp autumn day today and I’m off into the Kent countryside for a walk and a pub lunch 😉
    Do they have pumpkins in Thailand? Or something you could use as a substitute? If so you should definitely get involved in the #IFpumpkinsmackdown to help you feel more in the Halloween mood! Check out barren betty’s and fertility doll’s blogs for more info!

    • Ooh, I’m jealous. I don’t walk here because after 3 steps outside the air con I start to disintegrate. Would love a sunny, crisp Autumn walk! Unfortunately our pumpkins are the short, green squished looking variety and not conducive to carving… but I’ll keep an eye out just in case. This is the first time I’ve been at a similar stage as anyone. Good luck! Are you doing anything special to prepare yourself? I’m suffering from fried chicken guilt right now.

      • Just trying to eat healthy, lots of protein (fried chicien totally counts right?!), and a million vitamins! Trying to rest too… But think you’ll have that but covered in paradise!

        • lol, that’s what I tell myself. i made my own super healthy no sugar, low fat granola to take on the trip as a healthy snack…and then added mnms and totally ruined it. 1 step forward, two chocolatey steps back

  2. What is the stuff you rub on your belly? I find it so interesting to see all the different methods people do these things in different countries with the same baby results 😀

    I’m with you with the holiday stuff–Christmas never feels like Christmas until it’s freezing and there’s snow. I lived in California for a while, and it just always felt WEIRD. And the idea of flying to I don’t know, Thailand for Christmas feels absurd, though the darkness and cold kind of gets old after a while.

    Now of course the dilemma (trilemma?) is… my partner’s parents live in the Eastern part of the country (about a 6h drive), my mom and her husband live near us, and my father and his wife live in California. Now that there’s a baby on the way, and especially when the baby is here… everyone’s gonna wanna have a piece of that baby.. (first grandchild and all!)

    • oestrogel, feels weird that hormones can enter through the skin with no big needle in the process. I feel less fascinated and more like ‘she’s taking what? i’m not. oh no, does that mean it wont work for me?!
      Tricky with all those pieces of family all over the place…maybe invite everyone to yours? 😀

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