When WW and I first tied the civil partnership knot I only considered briefly changing my name but dismissed it due to potential complications with the already overly complicated process of applying for visas and work permits. Know we are (hopefully) staring down the barrel of motherhood I am revisiting the matter.
We have decided that our future spawn will have a farang (foreigner) first name and a Thai middle name, but what to do about the surname? Any same sex couples or heteros with different surnames out there please share your solutions below!
I feel very strongly that WW needs to be represented and I also want to have the same surname as our children so I don’t have awkward conversations for the rest of my life. WW pushed for a while for double barrelling the poor little blighters. We both have 3 syllable surnames that no one is able to spell. I think that plus a long traditional English name and a long traditional Thai name is just cruel. They will wind up sounding like a character from Downton Abbey. Their teachers will need to clear their throats and take a deep breath before attempting it. No, my kids will have enough issues to be getting on with.
pic from here
WW seems quite attached to her surname and I’m not sure if Thai bureaucracy can cope with something like this that doesn’t have a simple explanation so it’s down to me. I’ve never been overly fond of my name and probably would have swapped it immediately following our union had my beloved been willing to share something the Western world is able to pronounce and spell with confidence, like Smith…or Chin. But c’est la vie, I’m staying at the same level of complication really so I’m happy to do it. I love the idea of being one unit working under the same name. I’ll be able to say things like, ‘You’re bringing down the family name, son’ in a deep, macho accent :-).
I hope you out there never have to scroll through pages and pages of unhelpful, overly complicated and outdated government websites trying to figure out stuff like this. Everything is clear as mud and its nigh on impossible to find a real human being to respond to your queries.
Anyways this is what I have to do…I think:
- I apply for a new passport from Ho.ng Kon.g (cos they don’t do them here, no idea why, but ours is not to question) which would mean sending a completed passport renewal form which listed my new name, two photos, a photocopy of my current passport (Th.ai police insist that you have the original on you at all times as a I.D.) and my original civil partnership certificate.
- I am worried that this won’t be enough/accepted due to the fact I am applying overseas and it has been over a year since our ceremony so I’m also going to change my name by deed poll and send that along with the passport renewal form. Hopefully overkill but I have found in the past it is better to clobber these
numptiesstaff with enough paperwork that makes it almost impossible to deny your request. Either that or they get bored reading through all my evidence and just sign it to get rid of me. This tactic worked well when acquiring WW a visa to go to the UK.
- Then with my new passport I can set about changing my drivers license and bank accounts. Not sure yet how I will go about transferring my visa and work permit. I’m not sure if they will do it automatically as mine has not expired. I think worst case scenario is getting all my paperwork redone in my name and having to leave the country to visit another embassy, get a new entry permit and re-enter to start again. Thankfully my school deal with this stuff for me. I wouldn’t have the first clue how to go about it. I have worked at 3 different schools here and each has required different pieces of paper from me in order to complete the process.
- Then we can make lots of babies with our family surname and both their mothers listed on the birth certificates and live happily ever after.
That’s the plan anyway. Just got to run it past WW’s side and see if they’ll let me in. Hopefully they wont think I’m lowering the tone.
PS. I glanced at the ‘referrers’ section of the wordpress stats page and saw a website address I didn’t recognize. I’m still getting to grips with the ins and outs of wordpress but ‘referrers’ are when someone clicks on a link to your blog from another site, right? Like if I read someone’s blog, saw they were following another infertility blog so I clicked on it. That would then show up on the new blogs stats? Is that right? In that case I’m not sure how someone clicked on a link to my page- ON A PORN SITE? When I clicked on the link I was greeted with a pair of open legs belonging to a girl who is not me advertising ‘sex.y datings in Ban.gkok’. Ew. I know that someone might find themselves disappointingly sent to my blog when googling a few key words I have used but how would a link to my page appear? And how can I avoid this in the future?
The last search engine quote which directed some confused soul to me was: ‘Who’s the baby daddy after a gang bang?’. I was immensely curious what would drive someone to enter this query. Is some poor girl out there staring at a long list of mug shots wondering which was the culprit? Is some guy panicking that his go at ‘sloppy seconds’ might be costing him every month for the next 18 years? And what, pray tell, did the search engine produce for them that suggested I might be able to offer words of wisdom on the matter?