The Monster, our furry baby. ‘Wanna play?’
I am one of those people who googles everything. When, after one year of marriage my partner and I set a date to begin trying to make a baby I went into hyper-drive. I read everything, I watched every video on youtube I could find about pregnancy and birth but mostly it just terrified me. Or triggered my squeamish nausea. Most helpful, by far were blogs written by other women going through the same thing. It has become my new addiction. So I decided to add my voice. Maybe it will be helpful to someone out there or maybe it will just give my wonderful wife (WW) a break from having to listen to me go on and on (and on and on and on).
Anyways our journey started with maddening research. We live in Ba.ngkok, home to great medical facilities and a booming medical tourism industry (and an absolute ton of gays) so I figured if I paid enough at a private hospital I wouldn’t face any problems, despite being in a country that doesn’t officially recognize my relationship. I was wrong. The huge, fancy expensive hospitals were all really unhelpful, not responding to emails, stating they didn’t offer donor sperm (which they did) and other nonsense. Eventually one got back to me and said ‘their ethics committee deemed it inappropriate to treat us at their infertility clinic’ as we were a same sex couple’. At first I was furious. How dare they discriminate against me or judge our ability to raise a child blah blah blah. Later anger turned to upset and despair. What if no one helped us?
This led to a change of tack in our approach. I no longer said I was in a same sex relationship but that I was looking to become a single mum. As a lesbian I already understood and accepted that fertility treatments were part of my future but I didn’t like lying. I’m usually quite out and proud but if that was the way it had to be then so be it.
Our second step was to approach a clinic a couple of our lezzer friends had recently conceived with. The first impressions were not great.
Big Boisterous Nurse: ‘Fill in these forms.’
WW: ‘OK, done.’
BBN: ‘She didn’t fill in her husbands details.’
WW: ‘She doesn’t have a husband. She’s going to be a single mum.’
BBN: ‘How can you make a baby without a husband? She needs his spe.rm’
At this point a couple of nosy patients joined in asking how old I was etc. BBN shared the information. Another nurse interjected that I could get pregnant without a husband, another foreigner did it.
So slightly humiliated and pissed off at the extreme lack of discretion and privacy I went through the blood test and what I read another blogger (scrambled eggs) refer to as ‘dildo cam’ to find out I was healthy and ready to start. Hooray!